MMO Troll Feed

Open vs Closed Class Systems

Wed, 06 Jul 2011 00:00:00 -0400

It seems to me that MMO designers have been creating class systems poorly starting with EverQuest. I consider EverQuest (and all the other clones since) a closed class system wherein you are pigeon holed into an archetype before you really know what you're going to enjoy - kind of like choosing a major in college. The only thing all the accounting majors out there are happy about now is the fact that they don't have to sell their man juice to put food on the table.

In my opinion designers have just become lazy and uninspired and are falling back on class systems that have been around since Dungeons & Dragons. But they aren't even doing that very well - at least in D&D you could be a fighter/mage/thief and enjoy all the benefits of those classes, you just leveled a lot slower. The only argument I have in favor of a closed class system is that the class lines are very well defined and designers may try to achieve "balance" between classes. There is probably some number cruncher at Sony who had an epiphany whilst giving their daily rim job that forcing players to start from scratch when they want to try a new class would make a larger profit. I didn't mind this as much when I was in college and had more free time than Casey Anthony - but now that I'm older with responsibilities and a child I don't intend to smother with a pillow I'd prefer to just stop playing than to start from scratch. After multiple expansions in an MMO this could easily mean 80+ hours spent mindlessly killing moss snakes and kobolds.
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On the other hand, Ultima Online (the great grandfather of MMO's) has an open class system in which you can decide to change your entire skill set around on a whim. Tired of getting smashed in the face by monsters? Become a tamer and let your greater dragon take the punishment. Or just become a crafter and be a carpenter, alchemist, tinker, blacksmith, bowyer, tailor, miner, etc, etc.

The open class system never stopped me from creating multiple characters either though. You really wouldn't want to re-level blacksmithing just because your sword broke. People would have two or three mule characters and sometimes even multiple accounts so they can build templates that they don't have to tear down when they get nerfed. On top of that, UO introduced the concept of a soul shard which allowed you to transfer that skill to another character or just store it. That's good shit.™ I'm not sure why all the clones out there decided the closed class system was preferable over the open class system but I've had about enough of it. My Cleric in rift is almost 50, and I think I might enjoy playing a Warrior but I'm just not going to spend time creating a new character to find out.

A friend I started playing Rift with has one of each four classes, but none of his characters are even level 25. MMO's are handicapping themselves with closed class systems in that players aren't experiencing the higher level, and arguably more entertaining, aspects of the game because they are too busy trying out all the classes. In the end these players don't become part of a long term revenue stream because they move on to a different game that promises not to be a clone of a game from 10 years ago.

There are a lot of MMO's I have not played so I cannot comment on all the other class systems. I'd be interested to hear what you think as an ideal class system.

Blizzard Reset Your Talent Points... Now What?

Sat, 25 Jun 2011 00:00:00 -0400

Nothing gives me a case of the Tuesdays* quite like logging on, having ignorantly not read any patch notes or forum posts, and finding my talent tree reset. I suppose you could say it is my own fault. There is a fair chance you are right. I should make it clear I am not blaming Blizzard for this. I understand the logic behind many talent point resets, why things have to be done, blah blah. Doesn't matter. Since when is rage ever logical?

My non-logical response to my non-logical rage? (No, it isn't anything akin to some of the tantrums you'll find on youtube if you search “world of warcraft freak out” though that'll entertain you for a while if you're bored.)

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I log off and refuse to return for X amount of time. (x = however long it takes for the addiction to kick in again.) This doesn't simply apply to WoW. When Firefox released the new browser design to function more like Chrome I felt twitchy. If I reorganize my music library I don't listen to music for weeks because I cannot remember where I put everything. I'm a very habitual person when it comes to organization. Since I possess a bad memory and have yet to write down the layout of my action bars and rotations, which most talent point resets fubar, I simply wait until I forget how to play the character thus making it easy to form a new habit. (Okay, I'm not THAT bad but at the same time it doesn't take much of a break before it feels like I start to brain-dump how to play.)

You'd think after how many years now I'd learn to simply check forums, patch notes or ask guildies what to expect? HA! Apparently I'd rather limp along blindly, maybe ask guildies what they think of the changes after the fact and eventually bite the bullet and rebuild everything. Cataclysm was incredibly painful for me, despite the improvements. The talent tree for my mage went ignored until last week. Joke's on me because now I love the new spec (was fire and am now arcane, for anyone wondering.) Maybe someday I'll actually embrace a change from the start without the mental fit first.

What derails your gameplay? Bonus points if you have a funny WoW-rage story to share like some of the ones you'll find on that youtube search I suggested.

*I call the sudden urge to do things in real life "a case of the Tuesdays." To further explain if you have never played WoW, Tuesday is the day Blizz decided is the least active gaming day and they pull down the servers for any updates needed. Usually this runs from 5am to 11am PDT, though if you are on the eastern seaboard that's 2pm. Worse if you live overseas. In my case it was 2pm to 8pm so Tuesday became the day I would do all of the little things I'd previously ignored. And, of course, there is always the possibility of some unforeseen error that keeps servers down the entire day. Still, no monitor-throwing rage for me, just an incredibly extra-clean house.

Duke Nukem Forever: Why It Is Awesome

Fri, 17 Jun 2011 00:00:00 -0400

There was a time in America when it was acceptable, even expected, for a man to be a completely juvenile asshole. It was considered commonplace not to just drink at work but to drink heavily. There was a time in this, the greatest of all nations that you could bang your secretary without getting fired and getting your firm sued for every last liquid asset on their balance sheet. It was in this golden age where women would dutifully be waiting at home for their man with a properly built drink and a four course dinner in the oven. But it was not to last.
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Somewhere in the annals of history we lost the will to take what was rightfully ours. We lost the drive and desire to be the best. We started handing out participation trophies for little league baseball and our children were taught that it was acceptable to lose. Do you think when SEAL Team Six boarded the helicopters to go and say hello to Osama Bin Laden for America that they said to each other; “It’s OK if we fail because at least we tried.”? No. No, they most certainly did not. They said to each other; “We shall wrought terrible vengeance upon our foe even if it costs us our very lives.” I doubt they can even spell “failure”. I thank God that those who still adhere to this, the most sacred covenant of manhood still exist in this world of mediocrity.

Given the above it is not surprising that Duke Nukem Forever is getting bad reviews out there in the media because it is “juvenile” and “sexist”. This is preposterous. If drinking heavily and slapping girl’s asses is sexist I guess that makes me a pig then.

The biblically long development time of Duke Nukem Forever made it impossible for it to live up to the endless hype. The original game revolutionized the first person shooter. Duke Nukem Forever didn’t set out to achieve that same goal. It set out to pay homage to its predecessor and to celebrate a time long ago when it was seen as good to be a man. It is by this yardstick that I measure Duke Nukem Forever’s success.

Duke himself is like an amalgamation of great American heroes, the perfect cross between John Wayne and Andrew Dice Clay. He stands as a walking talking monument to all great American men who came before him. He’s like an American James Bond but instead of a bespoke suit from Gieves & Hawkes he wears a tank-top and jeans. He shoots not only lethal lead projectiles but searing witticisms like “Hail to the king, baby!” and “I ought to break a broom handle off in your ass.” Which is exactly what was said right before one of the SEALs ventilated Bin Laden (we assume).

No the game play isn’t unique and maybe it is a little cumbersome at times. Sure the graphics aren’t mind-blowing. But the fact of the matter is that it is still a fun to play game that delivers exactly what was promised. A no holds-barred ass kicking fest. The game achieved what it set out to achieve.

Basically, if you don’t buy Duke Nukem Forever, you don’t love America.

Star Wars Old Republic: Vaporware Ascends To Reality (Supposedly)

Wed, 08 Jun 2011 00:00:00 -0400

I just finished watching the new Star Wars Old Republic trailer that was presented at E3 this week and I have to say it looks pretty good. For something that was announced almost three years ago it probably should look pretty awesome. Considering they’re shooting for late 2011 release and they’re not in wide spread beta yet, I am going out on a limb and saying they won’t be releasing till early to mid 2012. Granted, it took like seven years to develop WoW but not to fill Blizzard’s head with anymore delusions of grandeur but, WoW was really groundbreaking. We look at WoW today and think it isn’t cutting-edge but when it came out it was pretty bad ass.
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It’s going to be interesting to see if they rush into production on this game. Chances are if they do rush the production they’re going to end up shipping a shit product which has never really stopped game developers before.

Sure the trailers look great, but I need to see more actual game play to pass judgment. What little of the game play trailers I have seen look a little too canned to me. Plus, I don’t trust game trailers I see before a full public beta is out in the wild.

So, in the immortal words of Hunter S. Thompson, “Let’s get down to brass tacks. How much for the ape?”. Am I going to buy it? It depends. First, I need to see a beta and see if they’re going to deliver what they promise. Second, they need to show that they’re taking the development process seriously. You can put all the cut scenes in the world out on the internet and it doesn’t mean you have a good product. Third, they have to charge a reasonable price for what they’re offering.

In any event, I don’t see beta happening for this title until late this year, at the very earliest.

Also, on a side note, if anyone knows how to get rid of this damn Java exploit virus go ahead and let me know. "Exploit:Java/CVE-2010-0840.CI" Stupid Chinese already hacked my Gmail account...

Music and Gaming

Mon, 06 Jun 2011 00:00:00 -0400

Have you ever listened to an album so much while playing a specific game that you start to believe the music is part of the actual soundtrack? For me, this happened with Final Fantasy VII in college. I had been listening to the Radiohead "OK Computer" album almost as often as I was watching white trash beat each other with chairs on Jerry Springer. At some point in the last 10 years I've convinced myself that the song Exit Music is playing in the background as Sephiroth walks through fire stabbing all the goody two-shoes in the face, or maybe it was when they killed Aeris. I googled this the other day to make sure I wasn't imagining it but all I can find are youtube videos made by fans...

There is a section in a book I've been reading about Cognitive Biases, one of them being "False Memory" in which your brain confuses imagined events with actual memories. It goes on to say, "Your memories are constantly rewritten in light of your current context: age, experience, worldview, focus, and so on. That incident at your sixth birthday party? It probably didn't happen that way, and it may not have happened at all." Personally, I remember sticking my face into my own birthday cake at showbiz pizza when I was six, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't make that up for myself... I still have nightmares about the freakishly real animals playing instruments on stage. So, Is it possible the music in FFVII is similar to Radiohead and they've just blended together for me, or am I just imagining something that never was?
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Then there is music which I know isn't part of the soundtrack but when I hear it I'm reminded of the game and gives me all sorts of reminiscent feelings.

Marilyn Manson - "Antichrist Superstar?" -> Player Killing in Ultima Online
Coldplay - "X & Y" -> Playing Asheron's Call 2
NIN - "The Fragile (Left)" -> Late night PHP development.

Oddly, I don't have any music attached specifically to EverQuest or World of Warcraft. But I've played those two games so much that I actually "hear" the music even when my speakers are off. I'm pretty sure this is a sign of some sort of mental rut where you are so used to the same thing happening that your mind takes care of the minor details, for instance, there not actually being any sound to hear. Or maybe it's just psychosis.

Finally, there is music in-game that you'll just never forget. The intro music to Ultima Online, Final Fantasy (multiple), and EverQuest for example. Listening to that makes me want to break out my credit card and active my account for nostalgias sake. What music triggers your game addictions?

References:
Pragmatic Thinking & Learning by Andy Hunt

World of Warcraft Addictions: If You Can't Beat Them, Join Them

Thu, 02 Jun 2011 00:00:00 -0400

June 24th will mark my 5th year on World of Warcraft so I've found myself thinking about it and how I ended up sucked in. I've taken many breaks over the years, most for months at a time. Once was to move Germany (and then move back two years later.) Another two breaks were to focus on my studies and plow through finishing my degree.

The latest was a trifecta of fail: First I started working nights and was exhausted constantly. Then the power supply on my PC went rogue (not in a good way.) When that was fixed? My wireless internet spazzed, shit the bed and died. When sleep, PC and internet were fixed I logged on only to find my talent points reset. Again. (Later I shall have to blog about the impotent rage-fit I experience every time I have to redo a character spec. Today is not that day. I need to sleep soon.) I logged off, removed my credit card and played Rift for a week. (HA!)

Always, I come back.

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Because of the breaks mentioned I definitely have not gamed consistently and have only one, pathetically (as in not at all) geared 85 to show for it. But the love for the game is there nonetheless and sometimes that is all that matters.

Years before I started playing WoW I heard friends talk about different online games (maybe even once upon a time I even accidentally played Second Life for a day) and honestly didn't "get" it. When a friend sucked my ex into the game, I suddenly understood why wives around the world wanted to stab their husbands in the face for eloping with the Azeroth mistress.

I think it was four months that he played while I watched, twitching at his horrible hobby, listening to “I can’t cast that yet” in dwarven brogue over and over because he couldn’t grasp the concept of a godforsaken global cooldown (hint: you’re not a rogue, dude.) When I actually began to play the button spamming annoyed me even more. (Another story for another day. ;D)

I joined the madness one afternoon when I realized, at 39 weeks pregnant and unable to exist comfortably, that I obviously had nothing but time and needed to do something to maintain a grasp on my sanity. My daughter didn’t make her debut until the 43^rd week, one month to the day (and 40 levels later. You know, back when you had to walk everywhere for a quest and there was only the one flight path in Stranglethorn Vale) after I started playing WoW.

I then turned around and dragged nine friends AND my mother into the game. Give me a few more years and I’ll add a 3^rd generation of gamer to that roster and the spawn will be rocking the gnome rogue she loves so much.

Dragon Age 2 Review

Thu, 12 May 2011 00:00:00 -0400

Single player games have to be pretty amazing for me to pick them up. I rocked the original Dragon Age almost as hard as I rocked Dragon Warrior for Nintendo circa 1986. Ahh, just thinking about metal slime, goldman, and Eldrick's Armor brings back so many awkward childhood memories. It was a foregone conclusion that I'd be huddled up in a dark corner whispering sweet nothings to my copy of Dragon Age 2 when it came out. This article was totally going to be about how "Dragon Age 2 Rocks", but the more I got to thinking about it the more I realized the wool had been pulled over my eyes. For a game I played religiously for two weeks straight you would have thought it was the best thing to happen to me since I got my Dungeons & Dragons Fortress of Fangs for christmas! No really, that was pretty much the best toy ever - the picture does it no justice. However, a few months after our separation I finally see the truth. Akin to a gold digging ex-girlfriend, Dragon Age 2 only wants you for your money.

Gameplay
I hope you saved some of your allowance to purchase a new space bar. The gameplay is probably 90% the same as before with small modifications to the skill trees, party commands, and equipment. Was I the only one annoyed that I could only equip my party members with weapons and not armor? The gameplay isn’t all bad, no reason to fix something that isn’t broken and keeping controls the same lets old players get started quicker. The Mage and particularly the Rogue feel a lot squishier and the Tank feels a little more solid this time around.
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Plot
The game felt really forced, and many of the characters were just plain annoying. I mean, Anders as a main character... Really? In Dragon Age the plot seemed to flow easier and it felt like you actually had some influence on the direction of the game. DA2 makes you color between the lines whether you want to or not. Sure, there are a few shiny side quests to distract the 76% of you with ADD, but overall it's pretty apparent to see where things are heading.

Genocide
No matter what path you choose you end up slaughtering entire factions. Usually this is a pretty common theme in games where one faction is inherently evil and it's your job to rid the world of their evil and restore balance. However, in DA2 it doesn’t seem like any of the factions are inherently evil rather they are just misunderstood. If there had been even one decent negotiator mass murder could have been avoided. For those of you with a Hitler complex this might sound like a great feature. For normal people, it should leave you a bit disappointed and confused. If it doesn't, I urge you to stop torturing small animals and seek help.

Lesbians
Seriously, where the hell is my lesbian love connection. All I could find was a gay male prostitute in the inn hitting on me constantly. Sure, he has silky smooth skin, the lips of Angelina Jolie, and is as limber as a gymnast - but I just don’t swing that way. I guess I'm just disappointed that I got carded when purchasing the game due to blood, gore, and dismemberment alone.

DRM
Your copy of DA2 gets tied to your EA account the first time you log in. The EULA states that the software is non transferable. Meaning you cannot sell it or even give it away for free if you wanted to. This might not seem like a big deal to some of you, but for me it's something I could have used on the site as a giveaway to attract readers. I never liked EA very much, and I'm beginning to dislike Bioware now which is a shame because I was a big fan Baldur's Gate and Neverwinter nights fan.

Win/Mac
Thanks to the 2% of Mac users out there, the game was shipped on a dual platform DVD that was supposed to work on either system. This ingenious plan didn’t work out so well for me. Since my gaming PC didn’t recognize the DA2 DVD, I had to copy the entire disk to my laptop (which did recognize the DVD), transfer it to a removable storage device, then transfer it to my gaming PC to install it. I guess you're shit out of luck if you don’t have those options available to you. When are you morons going to stop buying computers because they are aesthetically pleasing. I don’t even mean the software itself is, because it's just as unfriendly and goofy looking as it was 3 years ago. I mean that overpriced metal case surrounding your shitty software. I guess Mac users are like the women of computers. If you hadn’t guessed... I'm a fucking PC.

Let me save you some time and money - don’t purchase DA2. You'd be better off renting a hooker for an hour. You'll have memories that last longer and a burning and/or scratching feeling that you can’t get rid of. Just like the DA2 software...

References:
Normally I don’t bother referencing where I get images from - but I have to give a shout out to Super Toy Archive Collectible Store for the sweet Fortress of Fangs image and for fighting the good fight by hoarding all that priceless memorabilia. Some of these priceless artifacts of history can even be yours for under $5.

EverQuest 2 Hacked - Credit Cards Found

Mon, 02 May 2011 00:00:00 -0400

So there I was trying to log onto EverQuest 2 to kill a few moss snakes when I can't get past the login screen. Side-note: Not that I really want to play EQ2 mind you, but the only alternative is to spend time with my wife. Just kidding, my wife is awesome, but I just spent all weekend with her and I need a little time to myself. My alone time just happens to consist of role playing a talking, man sized lizard with magical powers. Don't judge...

Anyway - I do a search for the official forums (since finding anything on a Sony site without google is impossible) hoping to find an answer to this riddle. Lo and behold I'm greeted by an image of Firiona Vie looking like she just shit herself. Which is really traumatizing because I always imagined her like this instead. It's good to know that the original FV model has held up better than the original EQ after 13 years.
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Since that Quest was worthless, I went to the red headed stepchild forums to do some sleuthing. After reading a few good mannered and well thought out posts I determined that your credit card information could be at risk!!! The good news is you now have a reasonable excuse when your wife asks about the $49.99 charged to plumpgirlsworld.com. I'm actually pretty sure this will turn out well for me. The last time my EQ2 account got hacked the guy leveled up my necro and left 500 plat in my bank. It's exciting to think that this hacker might pay off my credit card debt for me!

It's really not surprising to me that Sony would have a problem with security based on the complete lack of forethought put into their account/payment websites. Trying to use them is like drunken wrestling with your buddy - in the end you both just look like idiots. But just because their websites suck doesn't mean they should keep unencrypted credit cards or personally identifiable information strewn about like hooker propaganda on the Vegas strip.

On the flip side, I've worked in Fortune 500 Information Technology departments, and sometimes things are so hectic you can lose track of that database you backed up to a dev server a few years ago and never removed... I'd venture quite a few people will lose their job over this - the majority of them being over worked grunts just trying to keep ahead of their pointy haired managers demands. It's sad but true that security is an afterthought in software development. So what does IT do to try and correct this? They pay external auditors to come in and ask you if your systems are secure. I shit you not, they simply ask a few questions, tell you to send them a few screenshots, and then collect a grossly inflated paycheck. Then everyone has this false sense of security until the next audit... or until your company is on the news. I'm sure there is some witty saying about paying for something that has no value but I cannot think of it off hand. The good news is, it's happening so often lately that when it does finally happen to your company everyone will be so desensitized to it they won't even care anymore and hopefully you (meaning me) won't get fired.

Update 5/14/2011: Servers almost up, compensation announced - 30 days free game time + "EverQuest II... A series of events, including Double XP, Double Guild XP, Loot Bonanza, and City Festivals".

Daddy Drinks

Thu, 28 Apr 2011 00:00:00 -0400

Pop quiz, hot shot:

So it’s your birthday. You’re out at the bar taking shots of tequila and pounding back vodka and sodas like you were trying put out a fire in the nether regions of your upper-G.I. tract. Then it hits you, you have to raid in 15 minutes and you’ve been going at it at this pace for the last 6 hours.

What do you do?

Well, if you’re like me, which you’re probably not, you go home and log on. Which is just what I did.

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It would be awesome if I could go on and regale you with tales of downing hard mode bosses while being severely inebriated but I can’t, for two reasons. The first, I am now a casual raider and my guild is too lazy to attempt hard modes until we’re too bored with the encounters on regular mode that on hard mode it just becomes punishing boredom. We’re not proud of this, but it’s our $15 per month so piss off.

The second reason I can’t tell of tales of downing hard mode bosses is, well, in the words of my immortal ex-roommate: “Daddy drinks”. I will go into that in a little bit, but apparently from what my guildees tell me and from what little I remember, I passed out at the keyboard mid-raid. Nothing screams rock-bottom like waking up at 4:30 in the morning with a raging hangover gazing with puzzlement at the login screen to World of Warcraft and wondering what happened.

So Priapus, what’s up with “Daddy drinks”? Good question. Let me explain.

My old roommate, whose name shall be withheld in case he ever holds public office, was/is a prolific drunkard. Now, I know some of you out there are thinking, whatever I could put him under-the -table, but you would be wrong. A “light night” for him would be over a liter of vodka and light nights were few and far between.

At this point, if any kids are reading this let me just say that it is a terrible idea to drink this much. A liter of vodka consumed in a few hours would put most frat boys in the hospital or the grave. For my roommate, that is what he would drink if he had to get up “early” the next morning.

End of PSA and back to “Daddy drinks”. So one day, a friend and I go back to my house and find my roommate full-on drunk. He’s in nothing but his boxers and throwing furniture around the house and clearly having a good time doing it. My friend that I was with didn’t have the best relationship with his father and my roommate decided to play psychotherapist after what could only be describe as an unhealthy amount of alcohol. He started asking my friend about his relationship with his father and if he wanted a hug. Then the epicness began.

He started to reenact scenes as my friend’s father. Screaming at my friend and telling him what disappointment he was. Then after it was all over he said, “It’s OK, I still love you. Daddy drinks.”

From then on, whenever we offended someone, which was often, we would just look at them and tell them that Daddy drinks. Like when my roommate rammed our neighbor’s car with his car repeatedly while our neighbor looked on in horror from her front porch. He just calmly explained to her that Daddy drinks. When the police came over later that same day to investigate, he just clearly stated to them that Daddy in fact drinks. Then, after missing his court date and finally showing up to court, drunk, he addressed the judge and told him that Daddy drinks.

It didn’t work in the above situation but you would be surprised at how well it had worked in that past. You should use it sometime and see if it works for you, because it sure as hell worked with my guildees.

Tanking Is Like Pimping - It Ain't Easy

Fri, 08 Apr 2011 00:00:00 -0400

Yesterday Blizzard announced that they were going to try and bribe tanks to queue up for the punishment that I call: “random dungeon finder roulette”.

Before I get into rubbing your fat faces in all the extra loot I am going to score, or the high probability that I am going to delete a superfluous rare mount, I want to take a minute to address the reason why Blizzard has to bribe me to tank for you slack-jawed morons.

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The DPS who pre-load their AOE before I even begin the pull. Can you believe people are this stupid? I can. I have been forced to believe in this. Not of my own choice, but through actions like these.

Crowd control usage. This one is a good one. Recently, I was kicked from a group because I, with the blessing of the healer, refused to use CC. The three, most likely brainless, DPS kicked me because I wouldn’t use CC. Are you kidding me? Then you get the groups who just don’t see the need to CC a caster or two while they pump out their combined 4k DPS. Seriously, bro?

Bad healers. I cut healers a lot of slack. You have to be short-bus bad before I call you out on it. That is, unless you’re a guildee, then I am vicious. This is mainly because I am not good at healing and never will be. Some of you are probably wondering: “What makes a healer bad?” Good question, Timmy. Let me tell you, if you spam heal a pet and I have to pop a cool down on a trash pull, you’re not good. If you continuingly heal the DPS over the tank, you’re bad. If all you do is pop your AOE heal and run out of mana, you need to think about re-rolling a hunter.

Plate DPS classes who complain about having to wait 45 minutes to come and suck at DPS-ing. This is my ultimate pet peeve. Pet peeve is too kind, this sends me into a fit a rage, really. When I am in a random PUG and some shit-box ret pally starts complaining about the queue time it makes me wish I could reach through my computer screen and tear out that person’s larynx. First off, ret sucks. Blizzard nerfed it to the ground and has no plans to make it good in the future. Though, I can see in the second, perhaps even third raid tier, that they might scale out of control. Then, Blizzard will predictably drop the nerf hammer on them, again. But, I digress, basically if your class has the ability to tank and you’re complaining about queue times, you should build a tank set and stop bitching.

So, Blizzard decided to buy my tanking skills with gold, gems, flasks, and the chance at a rare mount that will further demonstrate my superiority to you. This will also have to the added benefit to me of never running with my dick guildees again. Why would I want to do that when I am going to get rich by doing randoms with random people I can verbally abuse? I mean, after all, I don’t have to raid with them every week.

In my next post I will address Blizzard’s refusal of my petition to add a bitch-slap emote.